slivers of light

Don’t hold onto the slivers of light that crept through the floorboards

Shining a believable ending onto a confusing succession of disbelief

And accusation

Don’t hold onto the good texts like a security blanket

Walking around the house wondering why the screen is so black

And the clock so late

Don’t tell yourself this suffering is the good kind, is real

And sit through subzero campfires glowing bright by gaslight

Don’t avoid your dry eyes in the staring contest

Don’t blame yourself for all of his delusions and allow shade to frame your lost heart

See instead the coldness

The vagueness

The distance

Remember the time he caged you into a pit wet muddy by fallacies which to him were vices of reason set tuned to a hair trigger fault finder

Remember the “fuck u”‘s

The walk outs

The odd stares

The mind twisting

The disbelief in yourself he injected through a flat screen keyboard

The ticking time bomb

The unusable words

The first time silenced

And he was audacious enough to deem that “enraged”

The irrational victimhood

The resentment of female

The avoidance of wrongness

The pursuit of island

He, alone and left wanting, so wanting, for longer than you can wrap your straws around

Hold onto the flesh that was present, that you misread as flash

And eclipse

And let go of the sharpness he spent years of resentment sculpting in the dark

Don’t tell yourself this kind of numbness to the mind and panic to the tongue

Is love

It is, rather, a vice

He’s learned, over time, to build from the shards of his bruised and blackened heart bones

His sit bones, touchless to the earth

For his emptiness gave him flight

From any skin-to-soul connection

Leaving him floating among the dust

That gathers itself in the corners you’re not ready to clean yet


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