this booth bench feels like bus bench

that passes road sign to road sign

all deep fried, all stir fried

all starry eyed

and pining

misty for the tides of abandon


this passing,

I’ll make it a tradition

and keep it a secret

between you and me

I’ll give you every Sunday morning on benches

frozen lakes on the steam of my coffee


people are, to us, who we were to them

and I suppose I miss being Monkey

the world of family is not drawn by legal pads and eagle seals

but by sounds, remembered smells,

by laughter and plants on the walls


I wish to honor you and

sit across from all the you’s

on this bus of a booth that

could be anything


the truth is,

I feel bigger than this immediate corner

I feel bigger than the left or right corner

bigger than clumsy evening

or skin to skin battle,

desperately distracted

in search of family


left behind





and I felt embarassed

when they carried my grandmother down the stairs

as she cried

I felt embarassed

for myself

for the helpless

for the premature nostalgia

for this unconscionable shame


my sweet beast

I loved you more

than my dry mouth would ever dare say


as the tides changed

I left

leaving you all the time in the world

to sweep the ashes of our spring



I read somewhere

that he is the beginning

middle and end

but within me, all I feel are

air pockets

and lacks

and wax bottles

of cheap wine

and styrofoam chips

to chew

to know that swallowing absolves me

of my tracks



And the prize goes to the woman

So afraid of being “girl”

That she shut her eye and waited

For life to come to her

Charge forward

Free of shackles

And others’ doorways

Charge forward

In your own track &


Charge forward

Through windows &

Broken radiators

Carve forward a

History without

“His & hers” footnotes