it’s me

Regard man as a mine rich in gems of inestimable value

Bahá’u’lláh

 

Opening caverns of

Echoing land

Take less,

With kindness and nerve

 

Horizon moves quickly as it

Swells in surprise,

Motionless to my humble soul

 

Did you feel the earth move

Beneath you

Did you feel the saltwater

Quake?

 

What is the madness that’s rising

My blood stumbles

To understand what

 

But it’s a shift of the beast

Deep within me

And it’s swallowing

The madness that grows

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poof poof poof

as I ghost away you don’t seem to mind

that was the problem in the first place–

to me, you were a choice

to you, I was an option

a subscription

until you felt ready for roots.

at my most bitter I’d call you “selfish”

at my most tender, “kind & serving”

but, truthfully,

I didn’t even care enough to hurt

or like you enough to reminisce.

it is more disappointment

of what you bared your soul to be

it is more disappointment

we could not inflict more pain

so detached, and shadowy, and cave-like,

no hard feelings, for feelings weren’t had.

 

I’m wondering how I will describe you

in months or moments to come

1 exhale of some false expectation

2 people lying openly, lying,

a time capsule of curiosity and hope–

at one point, I pictured the sunset apartment

that does not exist

at many points, I let your figure attached itself

to my timeline

it is this, that idea,

from which I feel now divorced

not from your dense touch or

flightless fingertips.

bye

whenever i have dreams they are of

soft-footed women with long toes digging down

down down

in them i feel incomplete and with them i feel imperfect

and it’s delicious

i’m sorry

but it’s expensive real estate up there

and i don’t think you could afford it

certainly i cannot

afford you

like a monk

i screeched for some reason

down an echo chamber hallway

disguised as a highway

like a monkey i describe to the child as mischievous

meaning, “naughty”

howling, howling,

lay the soil for the heavy aching breath

autumn

she’s on this peak between sane and not and empty ashtrays

it’s nice to spend a day but a lifetime would be ruins

at least it’s near my house

and i can park in the front lawn